Dr. Estis's Insights

So Much to be Thankful for.

Most of us associate the holiday with happy Pilgrims and Indians sitting down to a big feast. And that did happen – once.
The story began in 1614 when a band of English explorers sailed home to England with a ship full of Patuxet Indians bound for slavery. They left behind smallpox which virtually wiped out those who had escaped. By the time the Pilgrims arrived in Massachusetts Bay they found only one living Patuxet Indian, a man named Squanto who had survived slavery in England and knew their language. He taught them to grow corn and to fish, and negotiated a peace treaty between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag Nation. At the end of their first year, the Pilgrims held a great feast honoring Squanto and the Wampanoags.
But as word spread in England about the paradise to be found in the new world, religious zealots called Puritans began arriving by the boat load. Finding no fences around the land, they considered it to be in the public domain. Joined by other British settlers, they seized land, capturing strong young Natives for slaves and killing the rest. But the Pequot Nation had not agreed to the peace treaty Squanto had negotiated and they fought back. The Pequot War was one of the bloodiest Indian wars ever fought.
In 1637 near present day Groton, Connecticut, over 700 men, women and children of the Pequot Tribe had gathered for their annual Green Corn Festival which is our Thanksgiving celebration. In the predawn hours the sleeping Indians were surrounded by English and Dutch mercenaries who ordered them to come outside. Those who came out were shot or clubbed to death while the terrified women and children who huddled inside the longhouse were burned alive. The next day the governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony declared “A Day of Thanksgiving” because 700 unarmed men, women and children had been murdered.
Cheered by their “victory”, the brave colonists and their Indian allies attacked village after village. Women and children over 14 were sold into slavery while the rest were murdered. Boats loaded with a many as 500 slaves regularly left the ports of New England. Bounties were paid for Indian scalps to encourage as many deaths as possible.
Following an especially successful raid against the Pequot in what is now Stamford, Connecticut, the churches announced a second day of “thanksgiving” to celebrate victory over the heathen savages. During the feasting, the hacked off heads of Natives were kicked through the streets like soccer balls. Even the friendly Wampanoag did not escape the madness. Their chief was beheaded, and his head impaled on a pole in Plymouth, Massachusetts — where it remained on display for 24 years.
The killings became more and more frenzied, with days of thanksgiving feasts being held after each successful massacre. George Washington finally suggested that only one day of Thanksgiving per year be set aside instead of celebrating each and every massacre. Later Abraham Lincoln decreed Thanksgiving Day to be a legal holiday during the Civil War – on the same day he ordered troops to march against the starving Sioux in Minnesota (Hill & Holler Column by Susan Bates susanbates@webtv.net
The aforementioned account of the origin of Thanksgiving does not extend the warm fuzzy feelings associated with the Native Americans and Pilgrims being unified in survival and thanksgiving as they “shared the first thanksgiving feast”. Oh, well, it did happen once followed by the negative moral characteristics of greed and exploitation and justification in destroying and/or exploiting other persons’ lives for one’s selfish desires followed by “giving thanks to God”. The past gives a whole new meaning to “Black Friday”. Reminded or reflecting on sorrow of yesterday affords an opportunity to recognize the past is impossible to change, there are no occasions for a do over. However, we can utilize our past or the story of someone else’s to be grateful for the blessings of now and the persons with whom we can share this moment in time and how precious is the existing moment and the persons God allows to share our journeys. We can also be reminded of the character defects that contributed to others being hurt and not desire to repeat bringing offense to others or being mastered by negative character traits.
If it was possible to modify or alter the Serenity Prayer around a theme of gratitude, perhaps it may go as follows:
God, please, grant us grateful hearts regardless of the things or circumstances we cannot change, please, grant us gratitude for the opportunity to change the things we can regardless of the labors, costs and energies, and please, grant us gratitude for the wisdom that results from the experiences of both and the related serenity that transpires from grateful and thankful hearts. Please, may our lives be lived and guided by a spirit of gratitude and not entitlement. Amen!
Regards and Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays!!!!
Thomas “Tom” Estis, PhD, NCC, LPC, ,LPC-S, LMFT, LMFT-BAS, LAC, ACOA


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